Out of the many rites of passages a Balinese person undergoes in life, getting married is probably one of the most important ones. This is because a marriage simply means a continuation of a family cycle; which also means a continuation for a family to function in a greater scope such as within the village life. In case you don’t quite get the meaning of “a marriage simply means a continuation of a family cycle”, read this next line carefully: it’s a common practice in Bali for one couple to marry only when the woman finally gets pregnant. In other words: no baby, no marry honey!
If the term MBA (Married By Accident) could mean an embarrassment for families of both sides (the man’s and woman’s) in general, many of the Balinese families face it with gratitude. As a society that still strongly holds traditional practices and cultures, the Balinese people see themselves as an endless entity; thus it will only work with regenerations. If you are a regular visitor in Bali, then you might have heard that the ceremonies held in Bali span not only from a birth of a person to death, but also go beyond up to the life after death. The logic is: only the ones who are still alive can pay attributes for those in the life after death (dead relatives or ancestors).
Aside from that, an activity such as a village ceremony normally involves every household within the community unit. Again, in order for a household to function (which also means to stay exist), it has to recreate itself. Certainly, having children is the only way to do that. Then again, MBA is not always the cause of a Balinese couple to get married or regenerate, for arranged or negotiated marriages are also still commonly practiced in Bali.
Yet, just like in any other parts of the world, getting married is a big business in Bali – an event that requires quite a sum of money. In order to take a girl away from her parents’ house, the man should make offerings to please and assure the parents that their daughter will be in good hands. No doubt, every practice that involves Balinese traditions and cultures is always dramatic; so is a Balinese marriage ritual and ‘scenario’. It wouldn’t be really a problem for a man from a wealthy family with high caste to take a girl. Otherwise, a man that comes from a less fortunate family (let alone lower caste) would face tons of problems in marrying the girl he loves – especially if the girl comes from a wealthy family with higher caste.
A common yet dramatic scenario for a less fortunate man to marry the girl he loves is by kidnapping her. The girl’s parents who disapprove their daughter’s relationship with the so-called poor man would of course turn panicked. For many times, the girl’s family formed a search party, going deep into villages including the man’s house to look for their missing family member. After a day or two, a representative from the man’s family would pay a visit to the girl’s parents to inform that their daughter has already been taken by the man to marry; thus, there’s no need for the search to continue. Once informed, there’s nothing the girl’s parents could do but to deal with the fact that their daughter is no longer theirs.
Another scenario for the same case as the previous paragraph, but with the parents’ approval, is also frequently practiced. This scenario is carried out due to the barriers that have been set for ages concerning to the caste differences. Although the parents’ side has already approved, there are still typically social obstacles that will prevent the marriage from happening. For this particular case, the girl’s parents would have been previously informed that their daughter has been kidnapped by the man. The parents would then act as if they are panicked. At the end of the day, the parents would pretentiously force the man to take responsibility for kidnapping their daughter by marrying her.
Now, as mentioned earlier that Balinese people in general see themselves as an endless entity, taking a girl out from her parents’ house requires permissions not only from the parents themselves, but also from the big community where she lives – such as the village. In addition, the offerings and attributes paid are not solely presented for the girl’s family to show the man’s significance and gravity in taking her as his future wife, but also to be witnessed by the spirits of dead relatives and ancestors. Thus, the marriage will be blessed and the “’till death do us part” would be the base of the happily ever after marriage life. Well, this is Bali; a land rich of superstitious believes and traditional practices.
If the term MBA (Married By Accident) could mean an embarrassment for families of both sides (the man’s and woman’s) in general, many of the Balinese families face it with gratitude. As a society that still strongly holds traditional practices and cultures, the Balinese people see themselves as an endless entity; thus it will only work with regenerations. If you are a regular visitor in Bali, then you might have heard that the ceremonies held in Bali span not only from a birth of a person to death, but also go beyond up to the life after death. The logic is: only the ones who are still alive can pay attributes for those in the life after death (dead relatives or ancestors).
Aside from that, an activity such as a village ceremony normally involves every household within the community unit. Again, in order for a household to function (which also means to stay exist), it has to recreate itself. Certainly, having children is the only way to do that. Then again, MBA is not always the cause of a Balinese couple to get married or regenerate, for arranged or negotiated marriages are also still commonly practiced in Bali.
Yet, just like in any other parts of the world, getting married is a big business in Bali – an event that requires quite a sum of money. In order to take a girl away from her parents’ house, the man should make offerings to please and assure the parents that their daughter will be in good hands. No doubt, every practice that involves Balinese traditions and cultures is always dramatic; so is a Balinese marriage ritual and ‘scenario’. It wouldn’t be really a problem for a man from a wealthy family with high caste to take a girl. Otherwise, a man that comes from a less fortunate family (let alone lower caste) would face tons of problems in marrying the girl he loves – especially if the girl comes from a wealthy family with higher caste.
A common yet dramatic scenario for a less fortunate man to marry the girl he loves is by kidnapping her. The girl’s parents who disapprove their daughter’s relationship with the so-called poor man would of course turn panicked. For many times, the girl’s family formed a search party, going deep into villages including the man’s house to look for their missing family member. After a day or two, a representative from the man’s family would pay a visit to the girl’s parents to inform that their daughter has already been taken by the man to marry; thus, there’s no need for the search to continue. Once informed, there’s nothing the girl’s parents could do but to deal with the fact that their daughter is no longer theirs.
Another scenario for the same case as the previous paragraph, but with the parents’ approval, is also frequently practiced. This scenario is carried out due to the barriers that have been set for ages concerning to the caste differences. Although the parents’ side has already approved, there are still typically social obstacles that will prevent the marriage from happening. For this particular case, the girl’s parents would have been previously informed that their daughter has been kidnapped by the man. The parents would then act as if they are panicked. At the end of the day, the parents would pretentiously force the man to take responsibility for kidnapping their daughter by marrying her.
Now, as mentioned earlier that Balinese people in general see themselves as an endless entity, taking a girl out from her parents’ house requires permissions not only from the parents themselves, but also from the big community where she lives – such as the village. In addition, the offerings and attributes paid are not solely presented for the girl’s family to show the man’s significance and gravity in taking her as his future wife, but also to be witnessed by the spirits of dead relatives and ancestors. Thus, the marriage will be blessed and the “’till death do us part” would be the base of the happily ever after marriage life. Well, this is Bali; a land rich of superstitious believes and traditional practices.
